I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
