Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
