I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize