I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I died a long time ago.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
