I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
