she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
