How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You can't special order awesome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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