please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
