Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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