My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
