those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
