I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
