The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
