I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
