how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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