so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
