we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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