oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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