i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
