come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
