11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
