She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
