he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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