If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
