I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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