So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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