Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
