people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
