i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just pee around me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
