I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
