I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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