I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize