are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
