and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
