id be glad to
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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