I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
