The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
