i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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