Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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