Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
