the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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