I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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