upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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