You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
