How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
