Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I cockslap morals
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
