Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
