4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
