I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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