I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
