I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
