i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
pop tarts are not kleenex
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize