Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
