Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
