You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
