I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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