Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
