remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
