I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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