How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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