We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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