I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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