So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
